Angels I Have Known

There are times I feel as though I have been to the summit of Life’s perfection and others when I swear I have plummeted to the bowels of its darkest pit. My heart knows the truth, however, which is that this life has been so blessed. I have known great sorrows and tremendous joys in these nearly 60 years. Did you hear me say that? 60, as in 6-0. Six decades, 3,120 weeks, some 21,900 days. I won’t count the moments because the only moment that counts is this one. But you get the point.

The one certainty in all of my life has been the presence of a power that has guided, protected and comforted me. For the sake of commonality I like to think of them as angels, angels being in this instance those souls working under the guidance of Love. Sometimes we pray for help and angels appear, but more often than not these entities have shown up in my life when I least expected and sometimes did not even realize until they had passed through.

I want to spend some of the last months of my 6th decade remembering and honoring those precious Warriors of Light, the gentle spirits who watched over, patiently encouraged and guided me, laughed and cried with me, and saved me from my most fearful shadow monsters.

I have had Debbie on my mind these last weeks, missing her voice, her gentle unassuming wisdom and total non judgmental love. We met online through a spiritual web site. Both of us had lost very dear loved ones and although we shared similar religious histories, we both had come to a greater understanding of the Creator’s presence in our lives. From the first email she sent to me privately in 1999 until the day she passed away in 2016, I felt as though we were soul mates and had known one another long before we came intto this life. In a friendship that spanned over 15 years, we only shared actual physical space on three occasions, but we communicated nearly every day during most of those years which included hours of heartfelt phone sessions. She and her husband were angels to me and my family. I still can’t believe she is no longer here with us, but her presence and influence was so profound that I always feel her with me.

Many rungs on my ladder upward to higher understanding were reached because she helped me up.  And held me up. That’s what loving friends do. They don’t ask why you are angry, don’t try to reason things out and fix them for you, or set limits on their support. Friends just say, “I’m sorry you are in pain. Do you need anything from me?” That kind of friendship is so hard to come by, but I have been so blessed in my life to know many of these people, some related and others related through spirit.

Debbie liked to say that Life was a school where we all come to learn and to earn our wings and graduate. I believe the wings that carried her into this world were even more magnifcient when they carried her home.

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What I wouldn’t give for one more hour with you, my dear friend. You introduced me to so many beautiful things. A Course in Miracles, The Four Agreements, Enya, Sarah Brightman, Josh Groban, Elizabeth Kubler Ross, my favorite Chandrika soap, the lovely Naples beaches, sharing food all around the table with family-and to think we met because of Bruce Moen and his Afterlife Knowledge site. Not surprisingly, my Angel of a husband found that site for me due to my continued struggle over losing my Mom 16 years earlier and being unable to make peace with the loss. I hope you found each other over there. You and she have so much in common.

This one is for you, dear friend.

Thank you for helping me to accept that I am as God created me. I will never forget.

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Affirmative, Captain #SoCS

We need to get this straight. I will affirm here and now that I have felt less than inspired in the last week. I’m working on the novel-still…maybe forever..but really loving the progress. It is just not something one can easily do at the end of a work day or week, popping from pragmatic, ordered thinking into fanatstical dreaming reality.

Affirmative, Captain.

I mean I usually can, but lately the world has just felt so…heavy. I affirm I am not a fan of old Man Winter. And I love men in general. Just not sadistsic, self indulgent, harsh and cold troublemaking men. Just why Mother Nature has him in her circle is beyond me. But then, taste in friends is always quite subjective isn’t it? It takes all kinds of people to make a world. If we were all alike we would either be hugely bored or constantly fighting ourselves.

 

I affirm that life is wearying at times, and when I was younger I held older people in the highest regard, seeking their wisdom, understanding and encouragement. For the most part I am exposed to situations in which older people are viewed and treated as outdated, stupid or at best uninformed, and gulity of some heinous crime of destruction that most of them are completely unaware. Perhaps the crime is just being older than 30. I thank God each day my children are not this way.

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When I was in the Christian church growing up, we were taught to always put yourself in others’ shoes, to empathize and express compassion. There was a humbleness in being a child of God. I suppose there has always been a double edged sword aspect to religion..any of them, just as there is duality of spirit within each of us. I just know that I would rather stand quietly alone, with my hand in His, than stand with a mob of angry, accusatory, self righteous finger pointers whose main goal is to be the best, the biggest and the chosen. Since when did being a Christian become a popularity contest?

I affirm that God’s greatest gifts exist all around us, that peace can be found in the tiniest miracle of life, that entertainment is free in Mother Nature if you just take a moment to breathe and to feel her presence. Soul healing does not exist in a book or a prayer. It is in your own hands, the ones given to you in this life. Perhaps we should stop shouting, ”God, save us!”

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Maybe it’s time to whisper, “God help us to save ourselves.” We have to stop making our own messes then blaming everyone else for them,  which includes..

No, honey, the devil did not make you do it. We all have a choice and the light and dark exists in every one of us.

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affirm that when I love someone it is forever, even if you choose to cast me aside. Anyone who has ever found a place in my heart will remain there forever, and my family means more to me than anything. If they hurt, I hurt. When they are in pain, it is mine. When they are happy, my world is perfect. I know no other way.

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I love the friends I have made here, in this magical realm of blogging, where like minds can meet and feel less alone, share ideas and laughs. We all do such a wonderful job of encouraging, lifting one another up and being there. Thank you to any and all who have done this for me. And if you feel like a beer check out Dan’s frozen corner of the world. Now, he has some Winter tales…

I affirm that I am ready for Spring, budding flowers, buzzing insects and balmy breezes. Meanwhile, we can always dream..in fact I must insist that you dream with me, or we might not see her face again!

 

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What do you see when you step outside?

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Thanks to Linda Hill and her #SoCS prompt, ‘affirm’.

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A Flake/#SoCs

Okay, I’m saying it for you. That’s what many of you will say when you read my post, but I don’t even care. If being a flake means I have faith in something outside of myself that keeps me going in a world gone mad around me then I’d rather be a flake doing life. (Wait, that sounds kind of like a favorite song….) maybe later.

Anyway, according to my favorite customer at the bar and doorscursion expert Dan , the Friday prompt for Linda Hill’s  #SoCS event is to open any book and, with eyes closed, point to a section on the page and write about the word, sentence or paragraph. It so happens that the book sitting beside my bed is one I have been working at reading for weeks now. I say “working at” because these days reading books seems nearly impossible. Between real time work, trying to write my own book, do some creative projects, spend time with hubby and get out to see the natural world and be rejuvenated, I hardly have enough moments to sit and read more than a few pages. I am slowly working my way through Inkheart as well. I love the movie so I suppose knowing the end keeps me from plodding forward more quickly.

Back to the point. I am not a particularly religious person in my later years although I am deeply spiritual in that I am confident that there is a guiding force in my life and there are things that we do not fully understand nor even often consider as real possibilities because our practical brains cannot pick them apart, categorize and file them away as proven facts. Those are the things that intrigue me most. If I had my life to do over again I would have gone into Science just to study Quantum Physics. Or become a photo journalist. 😏

What is the point?, you are saying. I ask for guidance in all things that I do-for Spirit, God, The Universe, to manifest itself for me in ways that give me tangible evidence that we do not walk alone here. This evidence is not for me, but for sharing. In the words of Fox Mulder, “I want to believe!” And,  more than he, I really do.

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This is a good book, by the way. And so true. Many of us feel we are doing a great job in life, just letting things roll, going with the flow, saying “it is what it is” (I hate that one) when we are really just stuffing things into a big old suitcase with aging rusty latches that someday will give out from the enormity of what is inside,  swelling until it must be recognized. Many things should be shared, gotten off of one’s chest and ironed out, even though it might be uncomfortable or even painful. I was raised in a home where conflict was taboo, so learning to have a civil disagreement was challenging. An all out argument used to cripple me. Now I understand that true change and growth never occurs without some discomfort. Sometimes a lot of it.

Again, the point. As I opened the book, I closed my eyes, asking for guidance to find just the right phrase or thought to include in this post. As I scrolled the page my finger dragged a bit and I passed the spot, but scrolled back up where it dragged again.

When I opened my eyes, this was the paragraph. I ain’t lyin’..

So how do I get to this point,” you may ask, “willing to BE, first?” Processing negative feelings throught the Script is the perfect place to start. As you process your feelings you are BE-ing. It will be of great benefit for you to work throught the hostilities and frustrations you may have so you can finally arrive at the place of ‘live and let live’…of BE-ing, enjoying the peace of now.

This is my goal, even before this book or this passage. To live in the now moment, for it is the only one which truly exists. The past is but a blip in our brains and the future is   a mere possibility.

Here is another of my recent moments of requesting presence to be made known. When we took our day trip to Sawnee Mountain Preserve, there is a statue of the purported Sawnee himself at the entrance to the park. The plackard board states that no true image of the indigenous man known as Sawnee exists, so they did an imagined rendition. I took several photos of the statue, my heart and soul asking if the true spirit of the man known as Sawnee or anyone else wanted to be recognized while I was there, to please feel free. This was my photo. I love orbs! I get them a lot. Sometimes they even show up in photos later, after I have already edited and saved them .

 

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Okay, go ahead and call me a flake. But I am a happy flake, a contended and loving flake. I wish the rest of the world would join me in the hope of flakiness.

PS. I never got a green orb before. Green is a healing color. I love this one.

Okay, so now that the song is stuck in my head I am sharing it with you. Please feel free to keep it playing in your heads all day too. Happy Free 48! More to come on that later!

And. Speaking of “points”, have any of you ever seen the production The Point? It is a marvelous work about acceptance and the importance of being different. Check it out! I saw it as a play in high school but they made a movie of it too.

 

 

 

 

Still/#SoCS

As I sat alone, ignoring heart’s ache,

and nudging my weary senses awake;

my eyes turned up to watch him soar,

graceful as every day before.

”Good morning, God,”

whispered my soul

as my heart beat once more

in time with the whole.

”Be still and listen…”

came the Creator’s reply.

 

“And know that I am.”

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A love letter fallen

right from the sky.

 

CKP copyright words and image 2018

This post brought to you by Linda Hill’s #SoCS prompt.

 

 

Antique and Antiquity

In recent days I have been having periods of inexplicable melancholy, a sort of reminiscent nostalgia that is both familiar and unsettling. Life has its ups and downs always; but I am happy to say I have moved beyond carrying old baggage around and have spent years trying to light the dark, dusty, cobweb-filled corners of sorrows past. Still….

Things happen.  Like a favorite hymn of my mother’s that fills my head. Like a treasured piece of simple jewelry she gave me as a child, too worn to wear and which usually lies in a keepsake jewelry box, one that my Dad sent home to my sister when she was younger and that I somehow inherited along the way. A religious piece with white beads and tarnished plated gold bangles on which are barely legible etchings of ancient words, words I memorized as soon as I was old enough to recite verse in church Sunday School.

This morning as I opened a drawer in my regular jewelry box to choose a pair of earrings for the day, the white beads caught my eye. The bracelet lay among my other favorite bangles as though it had always been there.

 

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I can’t shake the feeling that it was not there accidentally and I know that even if I absentmindedly moved it from one spot to another at some random moment of rearranging, this moment on this day means something more. I am still working out what it means that she reaches out to me at this time, but I know that she does.

I have been reflecting on things throughout the day. My little bracelet, now an antique, bears the etchings of one of life’s most treasured antiquities, The Ten Commandments. So many of us know them by heart. Some are way overused and even abused for the purposes of manipulation, while some are often overlooked. In my reflection on the state of our country, our world and the destiny of humankind, I thought it might be helpful to take a look at these dictates once again, but with new eyes, open hearts and a deeper understanding.

The Ten Commandments

I am the Lord thy God, thou shall not have any gods before me.
You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything.
You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.
Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.
Honor your father and your mother.
You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house, wife, or property.

 

I have some very personal reasons for not being conventionally religious at this point in my life, but I try to honor and understand the sacred teachings within  religions that work to draw all of life together rather than to separate humans into groups. I also believe that a holy man in an uncertain world leading an entire nation across the wilderness to freedom faced the daunting task of trying to keep peace and sanity among those masses of humans who were hungry, tired, afraid, bored and doubtful of their future. Order was necessary. Orders from God were necessary. I wonder how much these commandments helped Moses on his journey as much as I wonder that so many people know these words so well and swear by the ideal that they are direct words from God. And yet….they do not respect nor honor the most basic of them.

You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. 

This one has become America’s favorite passtime.

You shall not commit murder

It didn’t say, “unless……”

How does one reconcile the absolute-ness to which certain of these commandments is assigned while others seem to be merely ‘guidelines’?

You shall not covet….

Theft and murder for something as simple as a pair of shoes has become commonplace in our society, all because humans want what someone else has. Covetous hearts cause humans to break half the other commandments. Perhaps it should have been number one on the list.

I will leave you to ponder the others and experience your own understanding anew of one of the world’s great antiquities while I am simply going to try to rework my little antique bracelet for the sake of my Mom who loves me so much she never leaves me alone. I want to wear it again. She believed, she hoped, she loved; but this world was too sad for her.

Happy mid-week my friends.

Most of you know who BJ Thomas is and have heard his famous pop music; but he also went through a very huge spiriual transformation many years ago and has produced some beautiful musical recordings of both traditional and original songs. This song always comes to mind when someone dear to me makes the journey home and awakens from this dream. It brings me peace and comfort.

 

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