There are times I feel as though I have been to the summit of Life’s perfection and others when I swear I have plummeted to the bowels of its darkest pit. My heart knows the truth, however, which is that this life has been so blessed. I have known great sorrows and tremendous joys in these nearly 60 years. Did you hear me say that? 60, as in 6-0. Six decades, 3,120 weeks, some 21,900 days. I won’t count the moments because the only moment that counts is this one. But you get the point.
The one certainty in all of my life has been the presence of a power that has guided, protected and comforted me. For the sake of commonality I like to think of them as angels, angels being in this instance those souls working under the guidance of Love. Sometimes we pray for help and angels appear, but more often than not these entities have shown up in my life when I least expected and sometimes did not even realize until they had passed through.
I want to spend some of the last months of my 6th decade remembering and honoring those precious Warriors of Light, the gentle spirits who watched over, patiently encouraged and guided me, laughed and cried with me, and saved me from my most fearful shadow monsters.
I have had Debbie on my mind these last weeks, missing her voice, her gentle unassuming wisdom and total non judgmental love. We met online through a spiritual web site. Both of us had lost very dear loved ones and although we shared similar religious histories, we both had come to a greater understanding of the Creator’s presence in our lives. From the first email she sent to me privately in 1999 until the day she passed away in 2016, I felt as though we were soul mates and had known one another long before we came intto this life. In a friendship that spanned over 15 years, we only shared actual physical space on three occasions, but we communicated nearly every day during most of those years which included hours of heartfelt phone sessions. She and her husband were angels to me and my family. I still can’t believe she is no longer here with us, but her presence and influence was so profound that I always feel her with me.
Many rungs on my ladder upward to higher understanding were reached because she helped me up. And held me up. That’s what loving friends do. They don’t ask why you are angry, don’t try to reason things out and fix them for you, or set limits on their support. Friends just say, “I’m sorry you are in pain. Do you need anything from me?” That kind of friendship is so hard to come by, but I have been so blessed in my life to know many of these people, some related and others related through spirit.
Debbie liked to say that Life was a school where we all come to learn and to earn our wings and graduate. I believe the wings that carried her into this world were even more magnifcient when they carried her home.
What I wouldn’t give for one more hour with you, my dear friend. You introduced me to so many beautiful things. A Course in Miracles, The Four Agreements, Enya, Sarah Brightman, Josh Groban, Elizabeth Kubler Ross, my favorite Chandrika soap, the lovely Naples beaches, sharing food all around the table with family-and to think we met because of Bruce Moen and his Afterlife Knowledge site. Not surprisingly, my Angel of a husband found that site for me due to my continued struggle over losing my Mom 16 years earlier and being unable to make peace with the loss. I hope you found each other over there. You and she have so much in common.
This one is for you, dear friend.
Thank you for helping me to accept that I am as God created me. I will never forget.