Disappointment; a feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized. An act, or failure to act, that disappoints someone.
It doesn’t seem so enormous when you put it that way, does it? We have all been disappointed at some time or other in our lives, some of us feeling as though disappointment lurks in every shadowy alley, around every dark corner and exists purely for the joy of dismantling our best efforts.
The photo above represents a recent disappointment for me. It may not seem like much to anyone else; but when you love to take photos as much as I do you really long for that “ahhh..” moment which happens when viewing the results of your efforts. It is one of the highlights in my day. Imagine my delight when I discovered this lake in my neighborhood, a lake which I had been neglecting for nearly six months now! Always turning in the opposite direction when I reached the crossroad led me away from a magnificent experience with nature. Finally, about a week ago while I was out on a bike ride, I veered in the “other” direction. Imagine me pedaling along, near the end of my ride, ready to be back home and get my camera safely on an immovable surface once more. I round one of the final corners of my trip and ‘BAM!” there it is! A lovely man made lake (located surprisingly enough on a street called Lakeview :/) loomed before my eyes, causing me to careen to a halt, staring in amazement at the group of feathered wonders in front of me. Ducks, geese, and the most beautiful swans I have ever seen.
Now, I am no swan aficionado by any means and my exposure is quite limited; but I know I have never seen a black swan and that they are not common here where I live. I snapped a few shots which I thought were darn good from the road. You see, the lake sits on private property and the rather impressive house didn’t do much to lessen my sense of intimidation. I truly respect a well-manicured yard and a family’s sense of privacy.
I was so disappointed with the results that night. Everything was blurred and out of focus.
INSERT SCREWED UP PHOTOS HERE!!!
As if to prove my point, I am currently unable to download most of these photos here now and am not even certain why. I just started using a new Photoshop editing program and it is like being in a frigging foreign country to me and so far has only inspired more disappointment. 😦 sigh……
Okay, well, I have made a total of three visits to the lake, using three different lenses, I am not a professional photographer but am told I do a fairly good job of it. I still have so much to learn about exposures, lenses, filters and editing so at times I feel really like an infant in this land of shutterbugs. Still, I persevere because I LOVE IT. What I see through the eye of a camera is pure magic to me. A magic I want to share with others.
My super zoom lens which took amazing close up versions of these lovely birds still did not produce the results I wanted. The sky is not so brilliant here as it was in Costa Rica, where the backdrop for every shot was simply magnificent. There is a constant haze where we live and trying to get the clarity in my nature shots is often a challenge.
This morning I outfitted my camera with my medium focal length lens which has a polarized filter and headed out early again, since the swans were on “my” side of the lake at that time yesterday. Silly me and fickle swans, choosing to bathe on the far side today. More disappointment as i didn’t get a single close shot.
With my head down and my ego deflated, I started the walk back home. I had snapped a couple of decent squirrel shots but they were squirrels. It’s like taking photos of ants where I live. They practically knock on the window and pose. But, as always happens with me when I cry out to the universe for spiritual fortification, I began to see the little things once more. In the short walk from that lake to my house, I saw several lovely birds, an actual live Cicada, not their gnarly cast off shells, the most beautiful little slug who “posed” for me, and as I walked up my driveway, I looked down to see a lovely black feather, deposited neatly there and waiting for me. In my world a feather is always my sign of Spirit at work.
In life we are going to suffer disappointments, great and small; and the magnitude of these things is relevant to the one who is experiencing them. The thing I have come to accept and to truly count upon in life is that there is always a miracle in everything. The worst thing we can do to ourselves is to allow our disappointments to blind us to the reality of our successes. It is quite okay to allow ourselves to suffer a little bit over the pitfalls in life; but we cannot allow them to overshadow the peaks that we reach.
I have decided to view these bumps in the road as learning tools, not only for my projects and photography, but for my Spiritual growth as well. I am so blessed to have wonderful friends and family who lift me up and support me as well as so many new friends and acquaintances I have met in the outer world through this venue. My life purpose, my mantra, my story, my hope-this day and every moment-is to share the knowledge and miracle that none of us are ever truly alone. Sometimes when we feel most alone and abandoned, it is because we simply are not opening up to the comfort that is there.
Hope; expect and wish. intend with some possibility of fulfillment
Sounds simple enough. All success stories begin with hope. Life began with hope.
I hope your day has been miraculous and you see the wonderful things you have and can achieve.
The best of my “little miracle” today…still learning the new editing program. grrrrr…..
Oh, and I found my “good” shot of the swans. Here it is….can I get a drumroll……
And aren’t they amazing? The man who owns the house next to the lake on this side originally had two white swans. One disappeared which left its mate to pine away until it died. He then ordered these Australian Black Swans in and they have thrived. Thanks, Brian, for adding such beauty to our neighborhood. And thank you all for visiting with me. Please leave me a comment in the little bubble. I would love to hear your thoughts.